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Laboratorymart's humor page


Cartoon of the month






Laboratory Funnies - November 1999

Definitions to scientific terms by non chemistry majors

absolute zero - the score you get on a test when you don't know a single answer

acid - anything that tastes like a lemon

acidic anhydride - anything that tastes like a lemon and is dried up high

alpha particle - those little crumbs left on the bottom of a bowl of alphabet soup

Avogadro's number - 1-800-AVOGADRO

atom - the first man

atomic number - 1-800-MY-APPLE

element - Kid saying the alphabet really fast ...L...M...N... t

work - a force sweating through a distance

time - the interval between one occurrence

real gas - after that chilly dinner

distance - how far away you'll need to go after I eat the chilly dinner

boiling point - when you don't get your pay check

Boyle's law - the time between not getting your pay check and boiling point

critical pressure - the pressure needed to get you to study for an exam

apogee - Long lost Indian tribe

apparent weightlessness - when your alcohol consumption level is higher than 1.5

critical mass - what you need to lose to buckle your belt

superconductor - a guy who drives a really fast train

pitch - term that refers to how high or low the ball goes

light year - a year on a diet

periodic table - the table you eat at periodically

potential energy - the energy you thought you had when you woke up in the morning

First Law of Thermodynamics - always use deodorant

uncertainty principle - hmm?

elastic limit - how far you go before you snap

weak force - those who work during the week

ion - "Keep your ion the road"

muon - "Keep your eye on the cow"

homogeneous - when I'm only a genius at home

chemistry - when everything I learn in my chem class is a big mystery

HPLC- Measurement of People Chemistry

HPLC columns - Newspaper articles on People Chemistry

escape speed - the minimum speed of workers leaving at 5:00


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